I Remember What You Said

Years ago, I was in a toxic relationship with a man who constantly put me down, told me to quit music, said my friends and family didn’t care about me, and managed to convince me that I was worthless. While I can never erase his words from my memory, I can transform my hurt and resentment into something positive: a drive to prove those words wrong. In the song, I look back at the girl I was with compassion, and reassure her that she is going to be just fine.

I wanted the music to sound very light and happy, in contrast with the subject matter of an emotionally abusive relationship – writing the song was a therapeutic exercise for me, transforming something so painful into a source of strength and resilience.

The chorus is multi-tracked to sound like a group of girls singing. While I was the only person who could heal myself after that relationship, building strong relationships with other women and sharing these experiences was important in my recovery. When women open up to each other about ways in which men hurt us, we start to see that we are not alone, and that we don’t have to accept cruelty or put-downs as truth.

I am releasing “I Remember What You Said” just before Valentine’s Day, as a reminder that the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. I want to be the love of my own life, and this song is a celebration of my own strength and ability to decide for myself who I want to be, and to love that person for who she is.